Finding love can be challenging enough without adding fraudsters to the mix. However, there is an alarming trend of scammers pretending to be members of the U.S. military to take advantage of unsuspecting romantics online. These heartless criminals exploit the honorable reputation of those who serve, using fake profiles and stories about being deployed overseas to forge emotional connections and then extort money.
Nobody is immune to the risk of these "military romance scams." The perpetrators can seem charming and convincing at first. They often claim military benefits like low mortgage rates as a way to build trust and credibility. But behind the uniform pictures and tales of heroism lies a web of deception designed to drain your bank account.
Falling prey to one of these scams can be emotionally and financially devastating. That's why it's crucial to learn how to identify the red flags and protect yourself from becoming the next victim. With awareness and caution, you can navigate the online dating world without compromising your heart or life savings to fraudsters.
Did you know?
According to the Consumer Sentinel Data Book, there were 64,003 reported cases of romance scams in 2023.
The swindlers who used these scams made a profit of over $1.1 billion, with an average loss of $2,000 per victim.
Authorities believe as few as 7 percent of romance scams are actually reported, meaning that the actual number of incidents may be much higher.
Military romance scams are a type of fraud where criminals pretend to be members of the armed forces and manipulate victims into sending them money, gift cards, or personal information.
Many of these scammers live in foreign countries. They use stolen photos and details about real veterans or active duty military personnel to create fake identities that seem believable.
Here's typically how these military romance scams operate:
1.The scammers make fake dating profiles on apps, websites, and social media using stolen photos and military details to appear genuine.
2. They then target people who seem vulnerable - usually those who express support for the military through their profiles, groups they join, or charities they donate to.
3.Once in an online "relationship," scammers quickly escalate things by bombarding the victim with affection and even proposing marriage within weeks. Scammers often work in teams and use scripts designed to play on emotions.
4. When the victim is hooked emotionally, the scammers ask for money, gift cards, or sensitive personal information they can use for identity theft or blackmail.
5. After getting what they want, the scammers disappear, leaving the victim feeling embarrassed and out of whatever money was sent.
This follows a similar pattern to other online dating scams that psychologically manipulate victims.
When it comes to deceiving victims, military romance scammers have a whole playbook of lies and deceptive stories they use. They craftily exploit common misconceptions about military life to add credibility to their fake personas. Here are some of the lies they commonly tell:
They deployed Overseas Lie. One of their biggest lies is claiming to be an American soldier deployed to a combat zone overseas. This lie provides the perfect excuse for being unable to meet in person or video chat. It also tugs at people's heartstrings, making them want to "support the troops."
Purchasing Leave Lie. Scammers often claim they must "purchase leave" from the military to take time off and visit the victim. Of course, real service members don't need to pay for it.
Importing Goods Lie. To explain needing large sums of money wired, some scammers spin a yarn about needing funds to pay fees and taxes to ship vehicles, jewelry, or other expensive goods back home from their deployment.
Medical Emergency Lie. Scammers frequently claim they or a relative suffered a traumatic injury or medical emergency that requires thousands in upfront costs not covered by military insurance. It's a shameless way to prey on sympathy.
Transferring Money Lie. This "unexpected money" scam claims the victim has acquired cash, goods, or valuables abroad that they need help transferring to the U.S., possibly asking the victim to front fees or provide financial info to a "banker."
Stuck Package Lie. Beware of them wanting to ship you a "valuable" package stuck in customs that requires paying fees to release it—a ploy that will keep increasing the charges.
Travel Funding Lie. They claim to need money from the victim to take leave and visit when the military actually covers all travel costs for personnel.
Video Chat Restriction Lie. Scammers avoid video calls by making endless excuses about security restrictions, elite unit policies, etc., to conceal their real identity.
Love Bombing Lie. To build a fast emotional bond, they proclaim intense feelings of love within days or weeks, sometimes even proposing marriage soon after meeting online.
Extended Deployment Lie. Most deployments last under 15 months, so claims of being deployed over two years with no breaks are likely untrue.
Appreciation Gift. They may claim to have purchased you an expensive gift like a car, jewelry, or electronics as an appreciation gift for their support during deployment. But they need money first to pay bogus shipping or customs fees.
Messaging App Switch Lie. They try quickly transitioning conversations off monitored dating sites to unmoderated apps where they can more easily manipulate dialogue.
While the stories vary, the goal is always the same - to drain money from unsuspecting victims.
The harsh truth is that military romance scammers are prolific online predators. They shamelessly exploit emotions, impersonate esteemed service members, and concoct elaborate fictitious scenarios to defraud unsuspecting victims who are led to expect intimacy and support.
Related: Better single than scammed. How to spot and avoid fake profiles on dating apps
If you have suspicions about the person you're talking to online, you can try to verify their military credentials. Don't just take their word for it—ask for their full name, military branch, rank, and duty station, and then use public records and resources to confirm that those details match up with an actual service member. One of the best ways is to use the Service members Civil Relief Act Service(SCRA) to confirm their active duty status.
Here are several other ways you could check:
1.If you have doubts about the military man or woman you are communicating with, you can send their photos to Scamio for analysis.
Scamio is an AI-powered tool designed to detect scams, and chatting with it is as simple as talking with a friend. You can send Scamio any suspicious messages, texts, images, links, or QR codes, and it will analyze them immediately, letting you know if there is any potential risk of a scam. Scamio is free and available on Facebook Messenger, WhatsApp, and your web browser.
2. Do a reverse image search on their profile photos: Upload or drag-and-drop their pictures into Google Images. If the same images appear on multiple social media accounts or websites, it could indicate a scam.
3. Research their name across social platforms: Search for their provided name on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter etc. If you find several profiles all using the same or very similar photos, that's a major red flag.
4. Search for their name + "scam": Try Googling their name alongside the word "scam." Scammer groups recycle the same fake identities until exposed so that you may uncover reports from previous victims on sites like Reddit or Twitter.
5. Verify name and military details through public records. Ask for their full name, rank, branch, and duty station. Then cross-reference that information against public military personnel databases and records to confirm the details match a real service member.
Q&A
Q: How do I know if a military man is scamming me?
A: There are several red flags to watch out for, including refusing video chats, asking for money transfers, trying to build an intense emotional connection quickly, or claiming to be deployed for an unrealistically long period over two years. Use Scamio, do reverse image searches on their photos, check their name across social media for duplicate profiles, and Google their name along with "scam" to see if others have reported them. Ultimately, if you cannot verify their real identity and military service details through public records, it's likely a scam.
Q: How do I verify a military man?
A: One of the best ways is to use the Service members Civil Relief Act Service (SCRA) to confirm their active duty status. You can also request a copy of their DD-214 discharge paperwork, but be cautious as these documents can potentially be faked. The most reliable method is to submit a Freedom of Information Act (FOIA) request for their official military service records. Public data on service members is available to any citizen through FOIA.
Q: What do I do if I'm the victim of a military romance scam?
A: If you suspect you've fallen victim to a military romance scammer, take immediate action:
1) Cut off all communication and contact with the scammer. As difficult as it may be emotionally, this is crucial to stopping the fraud and preventing further monetary losses.
2) Contact your bank and financial institutions right away. Time is of the essence when it comes to reversing any unauthorized transactions, wire transfers, or getting new account numbers if the scammer has your information.
3) Report the crime to the authorities. File a complaint with the FBI's Internet Crime Complaint Center (IC3) and contact your local police department. Provide as much detail as possible about the scammer's fake identity, communication methods, money requested/sent, etc.
4) Report the scam to the dating site or app where you initially encountered the scammer so they can take action against that profile.
5) Report the incident to your credit bureaus and monitor your credit report closely for any signs of identity theft or fraudulent activity.
While emotionally difficult, cutting ties is necessary to stop feeding the scam. Then, reporting allows authorities to pursue the criminals, prevent further victimization, and start recovery. Don't hesitate to get help from counselors as well due to the traumatic effects of this deception.
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Cristina is a freelance writer and a mother of two living in Denmark. Her 15 years experience in communication includes developing content for tv, online, mobile apps, and a chatbot.
View all postsDecember 19, 2024
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