When Are You Free for Coffee? Long Lost Friend, or Scammer?

Someone sending you a direct message such as "When are you free for coffee?" can be more than just a casual invitation in the interconnected world of today. This seemingly innocuous question could come from a long-lost friend who wants to reconnect with you, or, maybe, from a scammer trying to lure you into a trap, the Federal Trade Commission recently warned.

The Friendly Reconnection

The intent is genuine when an old friend actually reaches out with a simple "When are you free for coffee?". People change and grow, and it’s not uncommon for friends to reconnect after years apart.

Here are three signs the message might be from a long-lost friend:

1. They provide personal details: The person contacting you mentions shared memories or experiences that only someone who knows you well will remember.
2. They are consistent: The way your friend communicates aligns with your past interactions, making their identity more believable.
3. They provide a context: The person references recent life events or mutual connections that help validate their authenticity.

When unsure, you can always ask for more details about how they found you or why they chose to reach out now.

Scam Tactics

Scammers use a variety of tactics to trick individuals into responding to unsolicited messages, often using seemingly friendly gestures to make you lower your guard.

Here are some red flags that might indicate the message is from a scammer:

1. Vague or Generic Information: Generic-seeming messages lacking personal details might be a scam attempt. Scammers often avoid specifics or get into details to keep their message applicable to many people.
2. Urgency or Pressure: Scammers usually create a sense of urgency, and are overly pushy, insisting on immediate action or response from targets
3. Unusual Requests: Scammers will usually shift the conversation, asking for sensitive information and financial details, or pitch you an investment scam.

“Scammers will say just about anything to get your attention. In this case, they might text you and ask if you want to meet up for a cup of joe. If you respond — maybe by telling them they’ve got the wrong number — you’re letting them know that your phone number works, which could lead to more calls and texts from the scammer,” the FTC explained.

Related: Text scams: Why you shouldn’t answer ‘Hi, How Are You?’ text messages from strangers

How to Protect Yourself

Verify their identity

If you’re unsure, try verifying their identity through other channels. You could call them directly or reach out to mutual friends.

Don’t share personal information

Avoid sharing personal information until you are completely certain of the person's identity. A fraudster could be impersonating a close friend or might have taken over their accounts.

Be skeptical of unsolicited requests

Be cautious of unsolicited messages that seem overly familiar or ask for personal details, and never access links or download attachments from unfamiliar sources as they could install malware, including spyware onto your devices.

Use a security solution

Install a security solution on your devices to ensure that you are protected against phishing attempts and malware attacks.

Use Scam Detection Services

Tools like Bitdefender’s Scamio can help you detect an incoming scam attempts.

Scamio can pick up on fraud attempts from texts, messages, emails, images, and QR codes. Additionally, you can describe a suspicious situation and Scamio will provide you with an instant assessment on whether you may get scammed. Scamio is free and available on Facebook Messenger, WhatsApp and your web browser. You can also help others stay safe by sharing Scamio with them in France, Germany, Spain, Italy, Romania, Australia and the UK.