CyberQuestions: #4 - Why are people mean to each other on the Internet?

People are mean to each other not only on the internet but also in real life. The Internet is just a new tool they use to hurt others.

But that doesn’t answer the question, does it? Psychologists say that people start being mean to other people when they are angry, sad or hurt or when they were treated poorly by others. Sounds crazy – why do something to others that made you feel bad?

Well, they do it because they want to get rid of that bad feeling by giving it to others. It’s like you try to get rid of a stinky sock, but instead of washing it, you pass it on to another person. That person smells the lousy odor and feels sick. You may think: Oh, I am ok now, I removed that gross thing! But it is not like that. Seeing the negative effect of your actions, you may feel even more angry, sad and furious. The stinky sock haunts you down.

Of course, other people can be mean and don’t even regret it. But they are not happy either, as the more people they hurt, the fewer friends they have. And being lonely is one of the most miserable feelings in the world. Imagine them sitting on a huge pile of smelly socks, occasionally throwing one at the people passing by.

Sad, right?

In fact, every time someone is mean to you; you should ask yourself: ”Who hurt him so badly that he feels the need to hurt me?” It will help avoid taking the behavior too personally. This works with the mean people from the Internet who are known as cyberbullies. Their intentions are the same, with the only difference that they use SMS, texts, apps, social media, forums, or games to express themselves.

Brooks Gibbs, an author and speaker with more than a decade of youth work experience and a reputation as a leading authority on issues like bullying and life choices, has a simple solution: Don’t get upset.

Other things to do when someone is mean:

Don’t respond in the same manner.

Stand up for people who are bullied.

Talk with other kids, parents, teachers about it.

Three interesting facts about bullying:

The word “bully” was first used in 1530 and originally applied to both genders and meant “sweetheart.” It is from the Dutch boel, meaning “lover” or “brother.” Around the 17th century, the term began to mean “fine fellow,” “blusterer,” and then “harasser of the weak.

The average bullying episode lasts only 37 seconds.

Only 1 in 10 victims of cyberbullying tells a parent. Fewer than 1 in 5 cyberbullying incidents are reported to the police.