How to un-glue children from screens. Peacefully.

”Just a minute!” is what most parents get when they try to put screen time to an end. But that tends to become the longest minute in human history. And there’s no sign it will shorten in the future, as devices have become children’s favorite toys.

According to a Bitdefender study (”Teens and online Threats, December 2017), ” 75% of the interviewed children use smartphones, 42% tablet and 40% laptops. In 2013, the number of kids who’ve used mobile devices nearly doubled as compared to 2011, according to the report of Common Sense Media, Zero to Eight: Children’s Media Use in America 2013.

These figures have made dealing with screen time one of the greatest parenting challenges.

Each gadget is a ”door” to the digital world; a door children slam into their parents’ faces.

Psychologists say the hypnotic effect of screens on childrens’ brains is very similar to what we experience when we watch or read something we enjoy most. ”Another world,” be it fictional or digital, absorbs us, we like the experience, the characters and the action, and we don’t want it to end. Forcing children to end it brings tantrums and protests.

Isabelle Filliozat, a clinical psychologist specializing in positive parenting, says there’s a way to end screen time without struggling. The trick is to build a bridge between the ”other” world and the present. When parents decide it’s time to put an end to screen time, they should sit near the kid, watch TV with the child or watch him playing a game for a minute. Then ask questions about it. ”What level are you at now?” ”Who’s that character?”, ”What happened in this episode?”

”Once the child starts answering your questions or tells you something she has seen or done on screen, it means that she is coming out of the “cut-off” zone and back into the real world. She’s coming out of the state of flow and back into a zone where she is aware of your existence—but slowly. The dopamine doesn’t drop abruptly, because you’ve built a bridge—a bridge between where she is and where you are. You can start to communicate, and this is where the magic happens”, writes Anita Lehmann, a mom blogger who has successfully applied it.

It will help to have another (preferably fun) activity lined up after ending screen time.